Yesterday morning on the way to school I had an opportunity to talk to Joshua regarding why it’s important to know how to ask the right questions.  Here is how the conversation went.

Question #1: “Josh, when you ask, ‘do you have your iTouch?’ What are you really asking?”

Response #1: “If I could play with it.”

Question #2: “And when you ask, ‘Are you tired?’ What are you really wanting to know?”

Response #2: “Can you come out and play with me?“

Question #3: “Ok, now the last one – when you ask, ‘do you have any money?’ What are you really asking?”

Response #3: “Can you buy me something?”

This time, the light bulb is turning on and he sheepishly smiles. You see had he asked the right questions, I would immediately know what it was he really cared about. Regarding the iTouch, what he really wants me to know is that he is bored and is looking for something to address that need. When he inquiries about whether I am tired or not – what he doesn’t know is that many times I have played with him, even though I was tired, because I knew it was important to him.  However, to be fair, knowing Joshua as I do, it would be just like him to think about how I was feeling even though he is dying to “school” me in basketball. Or perhaps a different question – “Dad, I really wish I could have that” might yield – how about next week when I get paid, or maybe I have the money and it’s not something I would choose to spend it on.

Why then do we not say what we mean or ask for what we want? Perhaps it’s our need for self-preservation and protection. We don’t want to be rejected so we take as our starting point, the last response we thought we got to our inquiry.

Our assumptions about the person may be entirely wrong. Where this is especially important, is when it starts creeping into the questions we ask of ourselves, and the questions we ask of God. Our questions provide insight into the assumptions we make. As a goal, we should grow in being authentic and honest with ourselves and especially towards God. It’s the foundation for an honest seeking of His grace and truth in our lives.

Indeed – questions are important. Thinking about our questions can be a stepping- stone into growing in integrity within, and enjoying authenticity with God.  In a future blog, we will look at how Jesus used questions to get to the heart of the matter. 

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