In a couple previous blogs titled, “What I Must Teach My Boys,” I started to develop the idea that I must teach my children how to ask the right questions. It’s time to continue this thought. So, in my next post, I will discuss why asking the right question is so very important. I trust it makes as much sense to you as it does to me.
Category: Life
Over the years, I have collected so many T-Shirts personally designed by my boys. I usually don’t wear them except in the confines of the house but I guess to show my appreciation, I decided to wear the last one made as I relaxed on my day off. This shirt was done probably a year ago – it simply says: “This Daddy is an All-Star.” One of the more “sophisticated” ones, as it was a press-on.
At dinner tonight, the conversation shifted to coolness. Jonathan had previously told me: “Daddy, I love you, even though you’re not cool” but I guess I just thought he heard that from some devilish television show and didn’t really understand what it meant. Well, he decided to relieve me of my self-deception. He said – daddy, you are just not cool. Look at your shirt! Connie busted out laughing instead of coming to my defense.
Well I got something to say. Its true, I should not be wearing these hand-made shirts outside the house. But the fact that my generation and this generation both understand the word “cool,” means we have one thing in common. We both use a word that still has value and relevance. The word “cool” has outlasted all the new slang words.
“Hip, groovy, crazy, nervous, far-out, rad, and tubular have for the most part not had the staying power or continued universal appeal of cool.” Dictionary.com.
The jury is still out on how long newer expressions of approval such as def and phat will survive. Ed Young said, “we used to be cool, until our kids made us un-cool.” We never really lost anything (or at least that’s what I took away from his statement.) So, in some sense we will always be cool in our own eyes. I just need to focus on what will forever remain cool. I’ve compiled a short list:
· Having dinner together as a family and enjoying our best laughs there.
· Knowing my seven year old could poke fun at his dad and know its “all-good”
· Praying together as a family at night and appreciating how good God is to us.
· Enjoying the fact that they are enjoying all the cartoons we did in our time – except they are now full-length, high-tech movies like Batman, Hulk, Iron Man, etc.
· Hearing “I love you” from my way-cool middle-schooler, Josh, as I drop him off to school each day.
· Appreciating that they still want to introduce us to their friends.
I may not dress cool, dance cool, or talk cool anymore, but I can still help with homework, work hard and provide for their cool choices, and treat their mom right as somehow she never seems to lose her cool points.
Joshua 4:6
We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future, your children will ask, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ nlt
First some context: When the children of Israel crossed the Jordan river, the water parted leaving dry ground. God asked them to build a memorial using twelve (12) stones. These stones would serve as a modern day – digital picture. God wanted them to have a memorial so that their kids could live the experience and hear the story, just like our family albums today. Our children may not remember the two-year old birthday party they had and the spaghetti they flung over the white carpet, but the pictures help them to experience it.
What can I apply from these 12 stones to my life today?
Each day we live we create memories. We create memories in the lives of our kids, our spouses, our parents, our friends, and even our enemies.
If our kids were to memorialize the events of this past week,
Will they recount hugs or hurts?
Will they recount love or lies and deception?
Will they recount humor or harsh words?
If our spouse were to memorialize the events of this week
Will they remember the times you spent together or the excuses?
Will they think of the beautiful gifts, loving notes, caresses or the verbal fights and the names you called each other?
My wife taught me this principle many years ago when Joshua was much younger and wanted to help me wash the car. All I could think of was how much it will delay this project and I grumbled to her. At that point she sweetly responded, “David – in your busyness, don’t lose an opportunity to create a memory for him.” Nuf said. From that point forward, washing the car has become a family project immediately followed by a water-fight.
No doubt about it, each day we interact with others we create memories. You can apply this to your friendships and co-workers in a similar manner. We have the power to determine what type of memories they will be. Let’s make them great ones worth remembering.
If you are ever looking for a solid daily devotional, “Streams In The Desert” by L.B. Cowman is a great option. Today’s devotional focuses on waiting on God.
Acts 16:7 When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.
The Author simply says… “there are not only times for action but times to refrain from action.” In our hurried and busy lives inaction seems unthinkable. It is important that we also practice waiting on God. When we ask Him to guide our decisions and our actions let’s also wait for His response. A moment taken to first consider the leading of the Holy Spirit may save us from fruitlessness and perhaps even regret. God is faithful. Let’s learn to wait.
This weekend at Celebration Church, Pastor Stovall reminded us that we were designed to worship and trust God and illustrated it powerfully with the life of Job. So, I decided to read the account in the book of Job again and refresh myself with God’s working in his life. What stood out to me is that throughout the story we see time after time Job doing a lot of self-reflection, culminating in self-mortification – cursing the day he was born. By the time you get to Chapter 42, he is taking back everything he said and sitting in dust and ashes to show his repentance. Then we see a huge shift take place. The bible says in
Job 42:10 “When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes.” nlt
Job shifts the focus from his suffering, from blaming God, from looking back, to repentance and praying for his friends. He’s recognizing their needs over his. But wait – they didn’t endure the calamity, he did. But Job shows his growth through this process, it really didn’t matter. He prayed for them and notice what follows – God sends Job restoration and real comfort. Verse 11 says “Then all his brothers, sisters, and former friends came and feasted with him in his home. And they consoled him and comforted him…”
Isn’t it just like God? He wants us to be a blessing to others, and in that, we will find our blessing? He reminds us to put others before ourselves and remember that He is our Father and will take care of our needs. He encourages us to pray for others, only for us to discover, that He has already moved on the hearts of sometimes “strangers” to pray for us.
I believe with all my heart that God would help us out just because, but especially when – we first help a brother out.
As we develop this idea of questioning, I want to pause at the first thing the scripture tells us Jesus was doing (Luke 2:46). It was simply listening. Before you can question – you must first be prepared to listen to the response, unless you don’t care about the response. Listening is key. As a matter of fact learning to listen to God is the first rule of success in life.
Listening is how we get to know the heart of God. Luke 10:39 tells us that “…Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught.” It is here she exemplified that above all we do, worry about, or focus on, Jesus said in verse 42 “there is one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it…” I believe with all my heart -in our quest to discover God’s will, if we would just not be so focused on telling Him our will, we might just hear His. In the stillness of God’s presence, listening to His voice, we begin to know and understand His heart. Prayer is and should always be a two-way conversation with our Father.
Jesus not only understood how to listen to His Father, he also valued what others had to say. How do I know that? He listened to them. Go back to the story in Luke 2:46, even though the religious leaders were so far off in their understanding of the Heart of His Father – He took time to listen to them. He placed value on their words. I believe you will find that when you offer that to others, it may not guarantee that they give you that in return, but maybe, just maybe – it might earn you the privilege to be listened to. Before He questioned, He listened. Let’s really make an attempt to listen to one another. More than that, let us excel in listening to our Heavenly Father. Listening to everything He wants to teach us.
As a dad I so want to prepare my kids for life. I see so much potential in them. Of course its understandable, I want them to have a stronger relationship with God, to fulfill their dreams, to enjoy life to the max, and live up to their highest potential. What then does that mean? What do I need to teach them so they can:
· Make right choices;
· Do the right things;
· Connect with the right relationships; and
· Get to the right answers
I mused over this (for a long time) and have come to one conclusion – I can’t give them the answers. I can’t simply teach them all the right answers. Life will put them through tests just like it did me and they must find and choose the right answers. Not that i am an expert or always get it right. Many times in my life I have made foolish decisions even though I knew better. Of course I can teach them the ways of God, demonstrate to them how to live and serve Him, but at the end of the day – they must choose, they must discover for themselves. I have resolved that I must teach them “How to ask the right questions.”
Over the next few posts I will define how this looks and why I have come to this realization. But just so you don’t think I’ve gone off the deep end. It struck me that when Jesus was a lad and his parents couldn’t find him, the bible says in Luke 2:46 “they finally discovered him in the Temple, sitting among the religious teachers, listening to them and asking questions.” Jesus mastered the art of listening and asking questions. Later on in the scripture we see Jesus answering many questions posed to him with a question. You see – an honest search for the right question leads the questioner to examine his/her motives and eventually positions them to find the right answer. I want my boys to learn to ask the right questions, to honestly pray that way, to learn that way, to seek after God that way. When they seek in truth – they will find Truth.
Yes, these are our boys and we are so very proud of them. Yesterday I finally gave in and let my older son, Joshua, get the haircut he wanted. Yes – that is a pattern on his left side. I cringed at the time, but he sure looks great. Doesn’t he? The younger, Jonathan likes the spiky look. Like every parent, we want to see them enjoy their childhood and really love life.
Our Boys
Things were very different in our time even though that was not that long ago… Spiky hair and/or patterns designed would have been met with much prayer and fasting, followed by Godly discipline (aka licks). But, things are different today. We don’t take ourselves so seriously anymore, but we do make room for their individuality and opinions about what they think is cool. What has more meaning to us is how they are growing and developing within. We are so very grateful to God for our boys and thank Him everyday for them.
Now, they want me to get a design in my hair. With that, I get to have an opinion and the answer is “negative.” I don’t need to emulate bald spots in the name of design; age will eventually make that a reality. In the meantime – I’m keeping every strand and will never give in… So, help me God!
Hi Everyone!
As of this very moment, I am leaving the nest and taking flight for the very first time… This is my first BLOG!
I have watched and read and even made contributions to other blogs. Not sure if it’s fear from having barely passed my writing classes at school, or an honest assessment that I may not have much to bring to the table. Truth is, as a believer in Jesus Christ, I’ve come to realize that God is working in me and He is doing this not just for me, but also for the sake of others. I will be remiss if I didn’t give voice to that. So, I’ve called my blog – one man’s voice. My hope is that through this vehicle, we can start conversations on life, leadership and have a good laugh along the way. If you wish, you can reply or even post a question. So here we go, let’s see how it all unfolds!
Looking forward,
David
